For years, I’ve worked alongside professionals across the entire optimization spectrum, from those feeling stuck and unoptimized to those fully thriving and operating at their “near highest potential.” One thing I’ve learned is that the difference between these two states isn’t always about skills or qualifications. Often, it comes down to mindset, self-worth, and confidence in navigating the twists and turns of a career.

And if you’ve ever felt capable of more but unsure how to achieve it, you’re not alone. This quiet frustration or uncertainty often surfaces as procrastination, lack of motivation, or a creeping dread as the weekend ends and the workweek approaches. It might not be full burnout, but rather a subtle disconnection from purpose and excitement in your work.

I know this feeling intimately. Growing up in the foster care system, I experienced that same internal tug-of-war, striving for more but questioning if I was worthy of it. As I reflected while writing Twice Over a Man, I recognized that the emotions I faced as a foster child and early college student, feeling unanchored, questioning belonging, and searching for direction, mirror what many professionals encounter in their careers.

But here’s what I’ve come to believe: We are all a little unoptimized.

There is always another level to reach, a new goal to chase, and a deeper desire to make an impact. This drive isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a reflection of growth. The desire to contribute more, learn more, and become more is what fuels meaningful success.

And while this desire is essential, it can’t stand alone. Growth happens when we recognize our worth, create our own paths, and lean into the community around us. These principles have carried me from uncertainty to leadership, and they can do the same for you. But knowing these truths isn’t enough, acting on them is where transformation begins.

Here are four steps that can shift your mindset and set the foundation for lasting growth:

1. Own Your Worth, Even When No One Else Does

In foster care, I learned early that waiting for someone to validate me wasn’t an option. Similarly, many professionals feel unseen—overlooked for promotions, underappreciated for their work, and unsure how to break through the glass ceiling.

Here’s the truth: If you wait for others to recognize your worth, you might wait forever. You have to claim it for yourself first. Confidence and self-advocacy are muscles you build through consistent practice. When I stepped into leadership, I didn’t feel ready, but I showed up, took risks, and let my results do the talking.

For professionals feeling stuck: Start small. Document every win, no matter how minor. Over time, these reminders of your value will shape the confidence you need to pursue bigger opportunities.

2. Create Your Own Map, Even When the Path Isn’t Clear

Foster care meant adapting quickly to unfamiliar environments. I moved through homes and schools, constantly figuring out new rules and expectations. Many professionals find themselves in similar territory, navigating corporate structures that don’t clearly show the path to advancement.

In leadership, those who thrive in uncertain environments are the ones who create their own map. When I didn’t have mentors in specific seasons, I turned to books, podcasts, and observation. I absorbed knowledge from every angle until I felt capable of making informed decisions.

For those navigating career uncertainty: Ask questions. Build relationships both inside and outside your organization. Seek out mentors, and if none appear, become the mentor you wish you had.

3. Resilience Bridges the Gap Between Stuck and Thriving

Resilience was my greatest asset growing up. It helped me push forward when circumstances felt stacked against me. In the professional world, the same principle applies. Careers aren’t linear, there will be setbacks, disappointments, and moments of stagnation. But how you respond to those moments shapes your next opportunity.

Resilience isn’t just surviving hardship, it’s thriving because of it. Every challenge you face can be a stepping stone, not a roadblock. The difference lies in perspective and the ability to reframe obstacles as opportunities for growth.

Resilience teaches you that setbacks are not permanent. When one door closes, resilience empowers you to knock on the next. It’s the quiet voice that says, “Try again,” even when things feel heavy.

Here’s the truth about resilience: It’s built through repetition. Each time you get back up after facing rejection, failure, or doubt, you reinforce your capacity to overcome. Over time, resilience becomes a mindset, a way of approaching difficulties with curiosity and resolve, rather than fear.

Actionable tip: When rejection or failure happens, view it as feedback. Ask yourself, What can I learn from this? Then, let it fuel your next move. Keep a journal of lessons learned through adversity. You’ll be surprised by how much growth can come from moments of discomfort.

4. Confidence Grows in Community

Foster care was isolating, but I found strength in relationships with mentors, friends, and community members who believed in me. In professional life, the same applies, confidence grows when we’re surrounded by people who uplift us.

For leaders: Build a network of peers who challenge and support you. Just as important, be that person for someone else. Leadership isn’t meant to be walked alone.

Did you catch that?

You’re not stuck, you’re simply in progress.

If you’re ready to take the next step, here are three things you can start today:

1. Document Your Wins: Confidence grows by consistently tracking your successes.
2. Create Your Map: Seek out knowledge and mentors, or step up to mentor others.
3. Lean Into Community: Build relationships with those who uplift you and offer the same in return.

Growth doesn’t happen in one leap. It happens in the quiet, deliberate steps you take forward. Remember, the strength to thrive is already within you, sometimes all it takes is the courage to move with it.