I've always kept an aggressive calendar, but until recently, I wasn’t busy with the things that mattered most to me, because I didn’t have the time.
Throughout my career, I've had many masters. When you work in a service-oriented field, much of your time is spent serving others. I've worked with pastors, retail leaders, barbers, bankers, nonprofit leaders, and others in service professions, people who have to show up for things to happen. Depending on how many stakeholders you have, how aggressively you’re trying to grow, and your personal ambition, you often find yourself focused on others. Growth does happen when you focus on others. There were, and still are, many people in my network that I didn’t want to let down, so I showed up.
And depending on where you are in your career, you may often be 'voluntold' by your boss, the owner, or your largest supporters and shareholders to take on roles or responsibilities that consume a lot of time and energy. There are seasons for this.
However, growth also happens when you focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone make you believe that focusing on yourself is selfish. If you don’t prioritize your well-being, you will eventually hit a wall where you can no longer give your best to others.
I was in my 30s when I began to exercise more control over my calendar. Because of where I was in my career, I didn’t have optimal control. Over time, I gained more control to the point of understanding where the job ends and my personal time begins. Let’s be clear, as a leader, you are never technically "off." That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that we have to give ourselves permission to focus on ourselves, to invest in things that feed our souls. When we do this, we become better leaders and managers.
I work every day, and it’s generally enjoyable because I focus on things that feed my spirit, whether it’s work for the bank, a board, or another private interest. What’s even more powerful is that when I took a step back and reclaimed some of my time, I gained clarity on what most of us are striving for: understanding how all the things we do connect. Recognizing where the undercurrents flow in the same direction creates amplification, a ripple effect, for every aspect of our work lives. I wouldn’t have reached this point if I hadn’t focused on myself.
Do you know how all the things you do align? And don’t give me a general answer like, “I’m helping people.” By taking a step back and focusing on myself, I am able to think about how everything I do aligns with my purpose: to create conditions that help people live better lives. I focus on specific conditions, like how what I’m doing helps people make more and keep more of their money, how it helps them elevate their thinking and stretch toward growth, or how it challenges a system to be more responsive to the needs of people.
By taking this step back and focusing on myself, I’ve been able to expand my platform and do more purposeful work. It has positioned me, my work in banking, my work on boards, my work in the community, and my efforts with those I mentor and sponsor to reach the next level.
What are the things that are most important to you? I’ve had the privilege of watching people at every stage of their careers reflect on what’s most important to them, then struggle with how to incorporate that into their work and life. They say things like, “I’ll do some of that when I get the next job,” or “I’ll have more time for that when I retire,” or “I work this job so I can do what I’m passionate about on the weekends.” I believe we can be fully integrated human beings and leaders.
I haven’t always been the healthiest. I remember once visiting Emerson headquarters and meeting with the former CEO, David Farr. He kept a demanding schedule but came to the meeting right after a workout. What I took from that was simple: It’s okay to run hard, but it’s also crucial to take your health seriously and integrate it into your day. It’s okay to focus on yourself. It doesn’t matter when you get it in, but get it in, it’s vital for your longevity.
Some of us are in positions where we can organize everything around our lives. If you are in that position, take advantage of it. I have a mentor who keeps a robust calendar, but all his meetings are on his terms. That’s where I got the idea for fewer lunch meetings and more walking meetings, he’s sending the message that if you want to meet with him, you need to fit into his schedule. He is generous with his time, but it’s focused on fitting you into his schedule, not him fitting into yours.
As you reflect on your own journey, consider the choices you make with your time. Are you allowing yourself the space to grow, recharge, and align your actions with your deeper purpose? Time is a finite resource, and while being generous with it is noble, being intentional with it is powerful. It’s about finding the sweet spot where you can serve others without losing sight of yourself. By taking that step back to focus on what truly feeds your spirit, you can create a ripple effect that amplifies your impact in every area of your life. The integration of your work, passion, and purpose isn't just possible, it's essential for leading a fulfilled and meaningful life.
And a BIG Thanks to those of you who have purchased the workbook