Sunday Reflection: How Positive Relationships Can Transform Young Lives

Have you ever had a revelation that took a long time to come to pass, but when it did, you were amazed? In spiritual terms, a revelation is when God guides, instructs, or comforts us on a personal level.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 (NIV) says, "Then the Lord replied: 'Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.'"

Years ago, I received a revelation that college would be an important factor in my future. As a foster kid, this revelation seemed unlikely, especially since only 1-3 percent of foster kids graduate from college. However, I shared this revelation with the folks at ECHO, a group home sponsored by the Disciples of Christ in St. Louis. Against many odds and with their help providing $600, I attended the University of Missouri Columbia (Mizzou) and several other schools, and the revelation came to pass. My journey was fraught with challenges that could have derailed me, but I persevered, driven by a simple message from God: “College is going to be a game-changer for me.”

This past weekend, I returned to Mizzou for the first time in over 20 years and I stood amazed at the power of God. It was a walk down memory lane, revisiting places that played pivotal roles in my college experience. Why was I there? I spent the weekend in Columbia with Brady Cook, Mizzou’s star quarterback and a Midwest BankCentre customer. During our time together, I discovered one of his passions: volunteering with Coyote Hill Foster Care Ministries, whose mission is to provide a safe place for every child impacted by foster care. This resonated deeply with me, as foster care is something I am passionate about too.

We decided to visit Coyote Hill and spend time with the kids and workers there. I engaged with the kids through sports and small talk, praying that the same revelation and result that occurred in my life would occur in theirs. The facility was fantastic, nestled in nature, with a horse stable to help kids with anger issues learn regulation, and a lake where kids could swim. Brady shared that his passion for these young people stemmed from his upbringing and the blessings he received, which he wanted to leverage to help these kids.

As we talked, it became clear that we shared a common heartbreak: the ill-treatment of kids. Babies come into this world defenseless and remain so as kids for a long time. The workers at Coyote Hill shared some sobering stories, and below I pulled some statistics for those who respond better to numerical reminders about the challenges that some children face:

• At least 1 in 7 children have experienced child abuse and/or neglect in the past year, likely an underestimate.
• In 2019, 1,840 children died of abuse and neglect in the United States.
• Each day, more than 1,000 youth are treated in emergency departments for physical assault-related injuries.
• In 2019, about 1 in 5 high school students reported being bullied on school property.
• 8% of high school students had been in a physical fight on school property within the last year.
• Each day, about 14 youth die from homicide, and more than 1,300 are treated in emergency departments for violence-related injuries.
• Annually there are 400,000-600,000 kids in the foster care system

Foster kids live incredibly tough lives, often unsure of whom to trust. Interpersonal trauma is huge in these kids' lives. I saw it prominently in my own life. When I asked a staff member at Coyote Hill about the single most important factor for these kids to become productive citizens, they responded, "relationship, positive relationships." Often, these kids have experienced toxic relationships with adults who were supposed to care but didn't, perhaps because they too were traumatized. The cycle is real, but breaking it requires positive, caring relationships.

In my life, I identify with this truth: kids need adults who care. As I shared with the team at Coyote Hill, this need never changes, no matter how far you go. Positive relationships are the single most important factor for success, outside of your mindset shift when you are able to shift.

Today, I found myself asking God for a revelation on when children will be regarded the way He regards them. Revelation is different from prayer. While prayer involves communicating with God, revelation is about receiving divine guidance, instructions, or comfort on a personal level.

As young professionals and those more seasoned in your careers, you have the power to make a significant difference in the lives of children, especially those in foster care. By fostering positive relationships, supporting organizations like Coyote Hill, and advocating for the well-being of all children, we can help ensure that they are protected and loved.

Together, let's work towards a future where every child feels safe, valued, and empowered. The journey may be long, but with faith and determination, the revelation that was true for me, that I'd become part of the 1-3 percenters to complete college, will certainly come to pass. This is my prayer.

My vision is that 3,300 young professionals and those young at heart (Coyote Hill has been in existence for 33 years) comment and commit to the act of improving the lives of young people and helping them get into and through college in the next 12 months.