Early yesterday I posted a video about walking in confidence. Later that evening, after hosting an event, I went into the dining room and greeted a group of civic leaders—captains of industry, as close to the gilded age as you get—before taking my seat at another table. One of them looked at me and said, “Orv, tell the story about the advice my wife gave you early in your career.”

Searching my memory, I said, “Well, she was always a stickler for structure and doing your job right. She always told me, ‘Listen, and get it right.’”

He shook his head and said, “No, not that story—the one when she told you to tone it down.” In that moment I realized he was harkening to the past but also editorializing on what I was wearing that evening—pink pants and a pink tie. I suppose he didn’t approve of my attire. Or maybe it was just coincidence that this became the small talk.

He was referring to a moment early in my career at United Way. And truthfully, I’ve had that same dance many times—in that organization and since. The advice was always about conformity: dress like everyone else, look like everyone else, blend in.

But here I was years later, catching up to what he was saying. So I took it a step further and said, “Yes, I have on pink pants, pink tie, pink-and-blue socks, and an earring—still standing in the same confidence I spoke about this morning. But what matters most isn’t my attire—it’s the value I create.” Then I reminded them, half-joking, that at one of the companies represented at the table it was practically “law” you could only wear blue, white, or gray. I laughed and said, “Every time I walked in, people told me I was the best dressed person there.”

Another leader at the table, more serious, affirmed: “When you’re creating value, what you wear should matter less.” I don’t know if he believed it, but I was grateful he endorsed it—giving me a graceful exit from the exchange.

That moment was God’s confirmation for me. No matter what level you reach or what rooms you enter, people will always have a point of view about you. But you must hold a more powerful point of view about yourself—anchored not in others’ opinions, but in God’s affirmation.

 “We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.” 

— 1 Thessalonians 2:4