“A leader without the capacity to take care, deep care, of their own life will fail, hands down. We are not so important that our bodies won’t tell us our limits. We are not so gym-healthy that our psyche won’t bolt at another 'spiritual bypass' when we know the work to be done is inner.” Does this slap you in the face? I surely couldn't be the only one. Thanks for the reminder, Robin Rice

I certainly struggle with taking time to exercise, think, reflect, heal, pray, refuel, and grapple with my own internal stuff, but I see it all around me. It’s a struggle for business leaders who feel compelled to be on all the time. It’s a struggle for educators and pastors whose capacity to grind and Teflon mindset leads them to go all the time, “pastoral duties call.” I see this in more mature professionals who, like athletes, ‘don’t want to lose their spot to a rookie,’ so they refuse to take that spiritual break that is often necessary to get out of the rut. Earlier this week, a friend shared, ‘I’m hanging on by a thread.’ I took her words to mean that she is emotionally and mentally drained. She has a very heavy responsibility. This isn’t good for her or her business!

But why do we run ourselves down? Perhaps the most profound retreat I’ve attended was years ago in the countryside, led by Peter Senge, MIT professor and author of The Fifth Discipline. Beyond deepening my understanding of the five disciplines, such as systems thinking and personal mastery, I came to appreciate mental models even more: being aware of and challenging our ingrained assumptions and generalizations. Oftentimes we wear ourselves down and don’t take the time to do the inner work because we perceive that others are just powering through, so must we. We don’t know this for sure, but we are taking cues from our environment and those cues are like an operating system for our lives, it’s similar to the stuff that just happens with our computer operating system, and most of us don’t know why.

At the retreat in this countryside on the East Coast, everything was slow. They had cross-sector executives from across the country. I was working at United Way, and my board chair at the time, who led a large transportation company, was there. They had executives from Pepsi, Ford, Nike, and others, including international executives. It took me some time to get acclimated to the slow pace and the outdoor reflections. It's because, like most people, I have been indoctrinated with the idea that I am at my best when I’m the busiest, health, including mental, be damned! When I took that spiritual and physical break, I came back a better leader. The assumptions that operate underneath the surface sometimes steer us toward outward behavior that is worse for us. I’m a chronic offender of violating my body, mind, and spirit!

Thanks for drudging up this life-giving memory. Now I’ll unapologetically plan my next getaway to my resting place. What about you? Oh, and I am now off to get at least 45 minutes of exercise in. I will start sharing my walks once more in the coming weeks. I hope you will do the same!