Love-Hate: Still Thankful

I have a love-hate relationship with the end of the year, which has persisted for the last decade or so. The fall season, with its changing leaves and crisp air, always brings back memories of college for me, which may seem odd, but this was a trajectory changing period for me. During fall, I used to spend a considerable amount of time pacing outdoors at Mizzou while trying to memorize notes for various classes. This habit of pacing and memorizing helped me gain confidence and find my rhythm in college.

As a professional, this time of year always seems to speed up, only to abruptly slow down around the middle of December until the second week of January. I truly value this break because I maintain an aggressive schedule throughout the year. I keep track of all external and internal meetings, and at this time, I reflect on the past year and ask myself a single question - were these meetings an effective use of my time? If my meetings don't align with the goals I set for myself or the business, and if they fail to produce tangible outcomes, or align with my assignment to mentor, I can't help but feel disappointed. Unlike people who simply enjoy meetings, I prefer meetings that serve a purpose. That's why I usually ask for an agenda from anyone seeking a meeting, even if it's a social one.

In the coming weeks, I plan to slow down and indulge in reading, reflection, strategizing for the upcoming year, and purposeful writing. Unfortunately, this is also the time when illness, if it has any plans in store, tends to strike and cause setbacks. My crashes usually last a few days, and I despise them. It seems like I don't know any other way of being besides staying busy. As I grow older, I yearn for busyness in things that excite me, that give me energy, that stretch me. I love looking back on the past and looking forward to the future. However, I detest having to slow down, especially on someone else's terms, even if 'that someone else' is illness.

Please take care of yourself. No matter my love-hate relationship with this time of year, I am thankful to the Lord above for the breath in my lungs, purposeful work, family, friends, and colleagues with whom I have the privilege of doing life. What do you appreciate about this time of year? And oh yes, happy Thanksgiving.

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